I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
