Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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