doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Come see our sink grown plant.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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