Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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