It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
