Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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