Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
