woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
