thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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