would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
she peed on how many people?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
