they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Terrible idea I love it
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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