wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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