ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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