I'm so fucking centered right now
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
