Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
