I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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