ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
