I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
