some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Randomize
