what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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