i don't like sucking hair
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
