Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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