Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
