I'm lost and stupid without you.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
