we have pet lesbian snakes
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
