DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Randomize
