Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
