theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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