bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
pray to the hookup gods
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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