guys are not supposed to queef...right?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
