Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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