just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
