He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
