so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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