ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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