But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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