And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize