OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
