me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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