I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
