im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
