I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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