We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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