It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
