You're my little dorito
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
