There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
