When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
