After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
