i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
