i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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