Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
