If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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