I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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