how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
