Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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