maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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